CONFIDO

I was taught that what "we believe" is right

That familiarity must be good

That strong convictions make perfect faith

I was challenged, sharpened, sent out into the world

To argue for the validity of what "we know"

The "world" couldn't see it, they just saw minority opinions and naïveté

And I believed that their disagreement proves "we" were right

And so my faith was supported by the strength of my claims

The stronger I made them, the stronger I thought I made myself It never occurred to me that these attitudes were a shield, a facade that I could not examine

Any wonder I couldn't grow into these "standards," or be them...

In frustration I would cut myself slack because these ideas were, after all, "just an ideal"...

"Nobody's perfect," but then I'd rant when "they" were not perfect And talk about how bad "they" were, when I was just as bad inside

These empty assertions, made to look good, to be a leader, to impress those within my little tribe

Was the pathos that was able to sweep me away ...into convincing myself

Proving my salvation in fear and trembling became impossible

Self-confidence was mistaken for a true and saving faith

Salvation was not Christ, but my own self assertions - my "being right."

my passing judgment on the only thing I can never really know - Others

Never stopping to think that I must confess the only thing I can - my own problems, my own sin

By Bp. Joseph 

(Ancient Church of the West)